To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
