I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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