Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
COCAINE IS GR8
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
