I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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