I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I want to make a zoo with you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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