so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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