saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
