Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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