This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
