ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Someone came in the potted fern
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
