So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
