so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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