I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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