It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize