On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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