Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
