Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
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why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
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He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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