I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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