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• (415): View more from California

  I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (510): View more from California

  Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work

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• (925): View more from California

  Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.

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