This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
you're hired as official boob wrangler