Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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