The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
