If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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