it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize