Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
