No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
