bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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