people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Randomize
