He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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