she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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