This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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