meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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