using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
