I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize