I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
