if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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