She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
