I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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