R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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