You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
