I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
