Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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