It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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