we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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