Kiss
Puke
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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