My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
