the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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