Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
