Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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