So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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