did you get engaged???
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
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i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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