That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
