I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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