If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
