It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Text me some of your sweat
false alarm, still single
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize