i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
