Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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