So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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