I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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