please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
