This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
