Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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