I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize