Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
