totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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