Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
