I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
