is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
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We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
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I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So. Much. Porn.
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