oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We had sex on a dog bed..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
