So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
