We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
